Acts of Random Kindness to You

As a child growing up, I had several biological aunts and uncles. Some, I haven’t seen or talked to in over 25 years, but there is Aunt Lucy on my father’s side and “Aunt” Catherine from my mom’s side that have always been there for me.

The first thing to notice is that I put “Aunt” in quotations in referring to Aunt Catherine. Aunt Catherine was actually a cousin of my mother’s who lost her parents at a young age and grew up like a sister to my mother. Aunt Catherine died a year ago February right before Valentine’s Day.

She had fought the long and hard battle of mesothelioma including having a lung removed that allowed her to live an additional 3 years. I knew I would miss her, but lately it has been an intense feeling of something being missing from my life. She was simply an amazing woman.

Aunt Catherine had little and gave lots. You never went to her home and didn’t get an ice cream cone and more importantly, lots of love and attention. She would have given her last dollar to see her kids get what they wanted. She fought some hard roads including a bitter divorce, mental illness, and then cancer, but she stayed so positive. She was always worried about others. Even in those last weeks, concerned about my mother and father or  her daughter being able to have children.

I sat with Aunt Catherine shortly before Christmas that last year and it was one of the best spent afternoons I can remember. We talked a lot and sometimes when she was catching her breath, we just sat. I was so glad I had taken the time because sometimes I would get too busy and drive by her house thinking there would always be tomorrow.

Her daughter recently told me that the day before she died, Aunt Catherine talked about me and she wished I would reconsider having children. She wished this only because she would not want me to ever be alone in a time of illness or need. Still thinking of others even then, it didn’t surprise me, but it did touch me.

I miss Aunt Catherine, her kindness and compassion that is found in so few these days. If there is an Aunt Catherine in your life, spend time with her or him because it will be over and there you will be “missing” them terribly at the strangest times.

As I flipped through the channels last night, one of my favorite movies in the whole world was just ending. As you can probably guess from the title of this post, it was The Wizard of Oz. I watched the last few minutes of it where Dorothy clicks her heels and wants to be home once again.

Sometimes, life’s journey takes us away from that one place we consider home. I know for me, the one thing that was able to take me away was meeting Tom. I loaded up my stuff, quit a good job, and waved goodbye to everything I knew. However, three years later almost to the date, I was back home again.

For me, home isn’t a building, it is a community that is filled with familiar people, places, events, and yes at times even some really strange occurrences.  It is seeing the place I first went to school and getting ice cream from the same ice cream stand that I did years ago. Home is the place I fought with my brothers and then kept their secrets from my parents. Home is where I rode my first horse, drove my first car, and danced at my first prom.

I am fortunate in that circumstances allowed me to return home and in that I have a husband that was willing to move to this tiny town where he knew nobody if that was what made me happy. Sometimes, I wish I had more money and then I look around me and see how very rich I already am. I would love to hear what home is to you even if for some reason you have to be away from it for awhile.

Well, it might be an early one, but it is upon us once again. I actually love Easter as it is a sign of a new season, new animal life, and generally better weather, but all that aside, there is more I like about Easter. At Easter, the focus of things changes somewhat for people. Their spirits are a little lighter and things suddenly don’t seem so dark and gloomy.

If you are of a particular faith, Easter can mean much more than even those things I mentioned above.  There are even some faiths that don’t celebrate Easter at all. Many people that I keep in touch with on some of my other sites have been kind enough to share with me about their faiths and views. I think it is important that we understand where other people are coming from and I think it makes a more tolerant world in general.

So, whatever Easter has in store for you, take a minute and think about a situation where you could be or even could have been more tolerant of someone that was different than you. Do your part to make this sometimes chaotic world a better place to be. Happy Easter to each of my friends and for those that don’t celebrate Easter, Happy Spring !!

Many people seem to think that in order to be considered an act of random kindness, it has to be something big or public, but I am here to say that isn’t the case. I thought of this post today while I was with my husband. On one of the busiest roads in the small city near here, there was a lady that had obviously been trying to get out of a gas station and back into traffic for quite some time.

I said to Tom, “Let that car in, Honey.” At which point, he reminded me that the traffic was horrendous. I simply said, “It is the nice thing to do, we aren’t in a hurry.” Of course, he let the car in because that is the type of person he tends to be. However, it got us talking about all the little chances we overlook to be nice in life. Life being life, he might not have even noticed that car if I hadn’t pointed it out.

So, don’t think globally or big, instead think of the little things you can do. If the wind blows the neighbors garbage can into the road and you have some time, pick it up and put it back on their curb. Maybe you notice someone struggling with their grocery cart in the wind or bad weather. Got a minute? Stop and help them if you are able. These little things will all add up to making the world a kinder and nice place. It will only happen with one act of random kindness at a time.

I hope that all of you had a wonderful week. My week was busy as usual, but we did have a snow day which gave a much needed sleeping in time on Wednesday morning. It is the one good thing about our weather here in the Northern part of New York State.

The reality of life is that we all have to work. I am lucky as I love my job and that makes getting up in the morning a little easier. However, what I can’t understand is that when opportunities present themselves, why anyone would not want to make a place that they spend so much time a better place to be. After all, if I have to be there than it would be nice to enjoy it as much as I can.

Some people are naturally good at this and no matter what is going on in their lives, they always seem to want to spread kindness. Such is the case of one lady that teaches down the hall from me. For as long as I have worked at this building, her husband has been ill with Alzheimer’s. When she discovered that my family was struggling with the same thing, she offered any and all assistance, information, or even just an ear. Not a week has gone by that she hasn’t inquired about me or my parents whom she has never even met. She is simply by nature a good person with a very large heart.

This lady has lead by example both to her students and to other teachers. She doesn’t gossip and she goes about her day making the best of it. It makes those around her want to do the same. This week, I was concerned when I walked by her door because she looked a little down and out. After a brief discussion, it became apparent that her husband had declined rapidly recently and she was feeling sad. (Such is the case when living with a loved one that has Alzheimer’s)

On top of it, she had recently had a granddaughter born and was so thrilled, but certainly not as much as she could have been if her husband was well and able to share in it with the family. It wasn’t long after talking that things turned to my family as they so often do with her. She isn’t one to focus on herself. As we parted ways, it got me thinking that kindness in the workplace is something that is planted and will grow if we let it.

Today, I had flowers sent to this amazing coworker with a simple congratulations card attached to the new grandma. I know that it thrilled her. Certainly to spread kindness in the workplace, all acts don’t have to be something material, but they do have to be thoughtful and genuine. So, next week….see what you can do to make your job a better place to be. Be sure to come back and tell us how you are making the world better one act of random kindness at a time.

Valentine’s Day is here again and for many, that means all kinds of material goods. It also means that some people will feel sad or left out of traditional Valentine’s Day couple activities. It doesn’t need to be this way. As a matter of fact, make it another day to spread some extra kindness or cheer.

Take 30 minutes when you head home from work and visit an elderly or disabled person you know. Drop them off a few homemade cookies or even a handmade valentine card. In the same time it takes you to watch one television show, you could e-mail an old friend or call your parents, siblings or other family member just to say hello.

For me, Valentine’s Day isn’t about money or even about being part of a couple which I am fortunate enough to have an amazing husband. Instead, it is about loving everyone and being kind. Imagine actually making someone else’s heart grow on this day. Don’t worry if they aren’t expecting it, that is what makes it even better.

I challenge all my friends, family, and readers to LOVE A LITTLE DEEPER and make the world a kinder place on the 14th. Happy Valentine’s Day !!

My father has Alzheimer’s disease and it is advancing very quickly. He is only 63 years old and it makes it tough on my mother who is still working full time as an ER nurse. She has to work overnights to allow the rest of us to be home while she works. It becomes exhausting.

However, one good thing has come out of all of this. My brother and his wife along with my husband and myself have grown closer and closer. We rely on each other to get through what needs to be done.

You always hear when you are younger that the day will come you will need your siblings. Of course, at that time you don’t believe it, but it is true. We were lucky in that we married good spouses and that we all have good careers with some flexibility.

So, the next time you get upset with a family member, just remember how very much you might need them one day.

In our daily lives, it is sometimes the most difficult to remember to be kind to those that see you at your worst. I think part of this is because you know that they will always be there even if you aren’t at your best. Over the holidays, it became apparent to me just how important Acts of Random Kindness can be especially to family.

First, you should know that my father has been diagnosed with Alzheimers at a very young age. It is remarkable to me how very much this has brought the family together. Not only my mom, my brothers, and myself, but the extended family as well. My dad has a sister and a cousin that go out of their way to visit and make him feel important. Maybe he knows who they are, maybe he doesn’t, but he sure knows someone is there being kind to him. Imagine how that makes us feel around him.

Also, over the holidays, I had a cousin that lost twins shortly after they were born. It had to be devestating. My cousin and I have never been what I would call close, yet, on Christmas Eve, after all she had been through, she showed up with a gift for me. Her explanation was that her mom (who passed in February) had always thought a lot of me and gotten me a gift and she wanted that to continue.

So, in taking the time to be kind, remember to be kind to those around you the most often and that includes yourself. I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday and is looking forward to a good 2008 !!